Art History Hotties: A Personification of Geometry

A Personification of Geometry
Dosso Dossi, A Personification of Geometry, Unknown

By MEGAN GANNON

For hotties round two, I present you with Dosso Dossi’s A Personification of Geometry, which will in fact throw you for a doozy. After studying the Personification for a while I can no longer think of concentric circles and scalene angles without imagining our brooding half-clothed friend. Upon looking at him for the first time, one can’t help but wonder about a future point of intersection. With his beefy arms and chiseled jawline, he can help you find the vertex of any of your mathematical equations. His torso ripples as he explains the difference between hexagons and pentagons. The protractor in hand trembles as he stumbles to equate the degrees around your own supple body. 

His veins go rigid as the conversation shifts to Platonic solids. He has to look away at the mention of linear perspective because he cannot contain his excitement. In his presence one falls into a world of axioms and manifolds, emerging enlightened to the study of curves. With his steady body and mind, he helps one to discover points of unparalleled symmetry. 

Our man of math with his posture invites us in to hear more about how the circumference of a circle relates to the radius and diameter. His cast away glance juxtaposed with his stern hand on his easel demonstrates the veracity for which he feels for the work of Euclid. 

Dosso Dossi captures the Renaissance man of our dreams. He may look a bit more brutish than we might of imagined, but we can’t all love Bernini types. Despite the criticism for Dossi's lack of talent and poor color choices, he manages to convey a mathematical rhythm with his figure that may a require a proof or two to ensure everything is working satisfactory. 

In a world often centered around athletes and actors, it’s refreshing to see a mathematician arousing some well-deserved attention. 

For all you singles out there forget hot-tempered artists, sculptors, adoring poets, and charming playwrights. Chose instead the man of math, he will never let you fall out of his geometric plane. 

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Fêtes and Folly: Triumph of Bacchus and Ariadne

Dosso Dossi
Dosso Dossi, Triumph of Bacchus and Ariadne, 1514
By SAI GONDI

Though this work dates back to 1514, its modern prevalence to the many joys and regrets of Spring Break can not go unnoticed. The actual painting, done by Dosso Dossi, depicts a youthful Bacchus traveling with Ariadne, his special lady friend, and the rest of his squad. In mythology, Bacchus is the god of wine, so you already know his party train's looking to have some fun. Imagine them as a group of college students freshly arrived at some cheap hotel or resort during their break. Bacchus, the frat lord and ring leader, has assembled his companions and leads them towards the overly-crowded beaches blasting with music from the early 2000s. The food elevated high in the air symbolizes the needless desire to care about their health and the time to splurge. Its Spring Break, why would they care? They've been waiting for this the second their last Spring Break ended.

Their general readiness to party shows that nothing, not even the dark clouds in the background, can bring them down. The male on the far left who already requires assistance symbolizes that one person who really has no self-control upon arriving within the first hour. Also, the child should not be there. I mean, who lets their kid hang out with the god of wine? He should be at home eating Coco Puffs and watching cartoons. Anyway, that red, devil looking guy separated from his fellow friends poses as that one buddy we all have who forgets sunscreen and burns within seconds of exposure to the sun. Everyone else though seems ready to have fun and make poor decisions. But hey, for them its Spring Break, and you only live once.. unless you believe in reincarnation.

*** Editor's Note: Students developed the topic of Fêtes and Folly to chronicle elegant celebrations, bad dates, late nights, or other things related to that time in Spring where barbaric yawps can be heard from backyards, beaches, or the more familiar rooftop. Enjoy their revelry, cheeky overstatement, and occasional tales of ribaldry over the next couple of weeks.
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