Art History Hotties: The Ugly Duchess

9:00 AM

Quentin Matsys, The Ugly Duchess, 1513
By MELISA CAPAN

Some say grotesque… but I say TOTALLY HOT!

Oh how I have yearned to see a woman conforming, not to society’s beauty standards, but to a beauty of her own. This Duchess lived life under the burden of Paget’s disease, a rare bone disease that deforms new tissue. Alas this keen Renaissance face triggered numerous inspirations. Many believed that Matsys’ painting was derived from the caricature work of Leonardo Da Vinci. BUT NO NO. This hot Duchess inspired the oh-so-great Da Vinci to draw. Only sheer beauty could inspire an Old Master like him so must be quite the spectacle! But it doesn’t stop there! She also influenced Lewis Caroll’s Alice in Wonderland…She’s basically super famous.

Her withered boobage busts out from the aristocratic headdress of her youth. Damnnnnnnnnn… Bold move Duchess! This serves as a big kiss-off to all those porcelain-faced haters who put her down. Who needs to play coquette and obsess over beauty when you can inspire everyone to show off your inner hotness? 


So. The Ugly Duchess might not be your cup of tea, but she sure is steamy like a fresh pour. Just look at that extraordinary face - there’s nothing like it. Literally.

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