Instadeath: Jesus Christ and the Good Thief

7:00 AM

The Good Thief
Curated by Alex McDonald

Titian, The Good Thief, 1563

*Curator’s Note: The paintings within this collection were taken by the author to be artwork for the album covers of a fictional metal band called Instadeath. The following is an excerpt from the script to Instadeath’s music video for their hit single, “The Good Thief.” This single can be found on their third studio album of the same name, which features Titian’s Jesus Christ and the Good Thief as the cover art.

Titian’s The Good Thief consumes the screen. Fog emits from the grey in Titian’s painting that connects CHRIST and THE GOOD THIEF, showing their connected suffering. The fog also makes the sweeping motion of the sky behind the crosses more noticeable. The motion brings the force of the painting down from the Good Thief’s legs, towards Christ’s feet, and finally upwards into the sky; symbolizing their ascension to come. Though, Titian shows Christ’s three-day descent into Hell by having this sweeping motion lead into a pitch-black sky and by having Christ’s gaze fixed downward.

PAN OUT: The whole hillside of Golgotha can be seen now. Thousands of people celebrate the death of Christ as a select few weep at the feet of his crucifix. Suddenly the Good Thief starts moving his mouth.

CLOSE UP: His mouth whispering inaudible words.

The fog drifts between Christ and the Good Thief, transporting the Thief’s message to Christ.

CLOSE UP: Christ’s ears, the inaudible whispering echoes through them. Suddenly, a slow eerie melody begins.

WIDE: Golgotha. The crowds roars as Instadeath front man JACQUES PADAVONA, dressed in a brown robe, steps in between Christ’s and the Good Thief’s crosses. He sings.

PADAVONA (singing)

He stole for fame and wealth
with a sense of shame and stealth.
To hide his sinner’s eyes
he constructs the keenest lies
until the night he was found
to be one of Satan’s hounds.

Lightning cracks the sky, coinciding with the beginning of a hellish guitar riff. In the brief second of darkness, the rest of the band appears around the feet of the crucifixes. All are dressed in brown robes and play their instruments.

PADAVONA (screaming)

They say he fostered remorse
rotting in his cell,
but he had to pay, of course,
for the sea of wrong he could not quell.

CU: The Good Thief,  writing in pain on his cross.

PADAVONA (screaming)

So they hung him on the cross
next to his new boss.
Who was feeling weak
and trying to stay meek.

CU: Another cross on the opposite side of Christ’s. THE BAD THIEF hangs there. He has devil horns protruding from his curly hair and scars and deformities cover his body.

PADAVONA (screaming)

While a devil told him no.
You don’t have to die here.
You could free us.
The end doesn’t have to be near

The shot mimics Titian’s painting like the opening shot. The Good Thief, now screaming unintelligible sounds, stares intently at Christ.

PADAVONA (screaming)

But Christ cut His losses.
Watch their blood seethe
on the crosses.
For even Christ listened to a good thief.

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