Haut Boys: Joachim Takes Refuge in the Wilderness

7:00 AM

The Haut Boys

The Audition for the Newest Art History Boy Band – The Haut Boys
Curated by Susie Xu

Giotto, Joachim Takes Refuge in the Wilderness, 1303-06

Introducing the Haut Boys Auditions for the world’s first (and hopefully final) Art History boy band. Derived from a lack of talent in the real world cute boys in paintings, the following is a compilation of potential members for the world phenomenon. Take a seat and enjoy.   

The first painting hottie appears in early 1303 in Giotto’s Joachim Takes Refuge in the Wilderness. Fear not, the eye candy mentioned is not Joachim (the old man with a plate on his head), but the Shepherd on the left. Though rather crude in drawing, he clearly has the potential to be someone drool worthy. With his piercing gaze, Nick Jonas hair, plus his natural eyeliner this shepherd boy just needs a friendly smile to be a winner. 

Though his first photoshoot seems a bit lacking, with the flatness, cabbage trees, dog-like sheep, and that one exiled old man asking for help, overall Shepherd Boy #1 doesn’t seem to appreciate the surroundings, or the fact that his friend may or may not be flipping him the bird. 

The camera lights also don’t seem to be functioning correctly for there’s no light source. Clearly photographer Giotto needs to take a break–permanently.  

Either way, Little Johnny, as we’ve come to name him, makes the cut for Haut Boys.

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