Haut Boys: Man in Armor

7:00 AM

The Haut Boys

The Audition for the Newest Art History Boy Band – The Haut Boys
Curated by Susie Xu

Piombo, Man in Armor, 1512

More like Haut Man, with his Ketchell-esque facial hair style, like the Boy with a Greyhound, whether it’s his gleaming armor or his critical gaze, this unknown man has an odd, tempting side. His side gaze definitely has a hint of malice, which doesn’t seem too appealing. But we really can’t blame him. This seems to be the “manly” style of the time, and clearly, he’s a follower, not a leader. Moving on.

His militaristic style gives him a sense of superiority and menacing power. His posture, definitely as a man of power with his strong left shoulder, and holding a perhaps makeshift weapon of some sort gives a chilling, bloodthirsty look. Especially his stink eye look, it won’t entice the public were he to debut. The sharp eyebrows and bright light that bounces off his shiny silver armor just doesn’t do the man justice in terms of being in a boy band. Perhaps he’s a kind, caring person, but there’s no trace of that within this painting. 

I’m sorry, but we decline to admit him into the Haut Boys band. Haut Men, maybe.

Editor's Note: We at MKCPT vehemently disagree with Ms. Xu on this one. We believe Man in Armor to be absolutely smoldering, and his addition to Haut Boys would bring the important adult female demographic (and their pocketbooks) to the band.

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