My Kid Could Paint That

What do mermaids call their friends on?

Shell phones.

It was in Rapunzel’s name/nature to be a fan of puns.

Greetings, loved ones. Let’s take a journey.  

Disney princesses: idolized by youngsters, teenagers’ love life aspirations, adults’ worst nightmares. A never-ending nap? Talking furniture? A girl with hair long enough and strong enough to climb? A singing mermaid with red hair? A pretty maid who marries a prince? Where did Hans Christian Andersen, the Grimm brothers, and the other writers get these creative ideas? Let’s take a look at some possible inspirations. 

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This Knee is a Royal Pain: Disney Princesses & Art

Greetings, loved ones. Let’s take a journey.

Disney princesses: idolized by youngsters, teenagers’ love life aspirations, adults’ worst nightmares. A never-ending nap? Talking furniture? A girl with hair long enough and strong enough to climb? A singing mermaid with red hair? A pretty maid who marries a prince? Where did Hans Christian Andersen, the Grimm brothers, and the other writers get these creative ideas? Let’s take a look at some possible inspirations. 

What is Belle’s favorite fast food restaurant? 

Taco Belle

A girl in a yellow dress reading? Does that ring a belle? What would one do when captured by a beast and is locked away in a mansion? Why, of course! Read! A yellow dress? Seems a little bit risky for a princess, but by 1991, all the other dress colors have been taken. If this girl in the painting can pull it off, why not give it a try? 

A Young Girl Reading is part of a series of young girls created by Fragonard called portraits de fantaisie (imaginary portraits) that changed the existing conventions of portraiture. First, Fragonard could finish an entire portrait in an hour. However, his portraits were all very similar. They consisted of half-length single figures on canvases of the same size. His stunning paintings changed the standards of portraiture. 

Fragonard was most likely focusing more on creating a portrayal of everyday life instead of focusing on recreating the model. X-ray photographs show that the painting originally had a different face and the girl was facing the viewers, but it was later painted over. The girl’s identity in the painting is unknown, but she represents the lifestyle of the upper class in France. The unknown girl has a pinky sophisticatedly extended while reading a book. Simply reading a novel shows her status, as the upper class trend at that time was portable books. The horizontal line of the chair’s armrest and the vertical line that is between the two walls offer a feeling of space and structure. 

"I have a lot of strong memories of religious imagery. We had a big illustrated bible and when I was young I would go straight to the crucifixion or severed head pages." ~Damien Hirst

When Damien Hirst graduated from college, he accepted a job in a morgue. He soon learned that the constant exposure to dead human beings removed the shock of death. However, even after spending months surrounded by dead organisms, Hirst’s hunger to learn more about death was not satiated.

Usually, religion is viewed as something positive and something highly respected. Viewers may see the similarities between religious pieces of art and Hirst’s unique type of artwork. Mother and Child, Divided is an accurate representation of Hirst’s thoughts about religion. The artwork contains one cow and one calf, but they are split into two and placed in four separate tanks. Hirst purposely left enough space in between the halves of the cow and the calf to allow visitors to walk in between the two parts and see the inner workings of a cow in all its glory. The mother and child are both separated from each other, but also separated from themselves. Besides religion, Sigmund Freud's theories also had an influence on Hirst's work. The unattainable goal of finding or keeping unity is a theme often seen in psychoanalysis.

Although viewers constantly debate if Hirst’s artwork should be considered “art,” Hirst believes the bisecting, and sometimes the skinning, of animals offers his audience the possibility to view things in a new way, but also as a way to create emotions scientifically. Hirst even commented that after the animals in his artwork have died and are floating in formaldehyde, they have “more personality than any cows walking about in fields.” Not only is Hirst’s artwork a danger to viewers vomiting, his artwork may have a permanent impact on the viewers’ health. The solution Hirst uses to preserve his artwork has recently been found to be leaking into the viewing rooms, causing the ppm to rise to 5 ppm (parts per million), which is ten times above suggested number. However, don't be a coward, experiencing Hirst's unique artwork is well worth the possible side effects. 

In this painting, Peter Paul Rubens paints Bacchus, the Roman god of wine and intoxication, which basically means Bacchus was an alcoholic who liked to party. But, this painting was not commissioned. Rubens painted it just for fun and kept it in his studio until he died. Considering he married a 16 year old when he was 53 years old, I don’t consider his fascination with chubby gods strange at all.

Spring Break as a fledgling includes beaches, music, and of course, alcohol. But, what would Spring Break be like in the future? Technically, there is no two week break that just asks for you to make poor decisions. But, there’s a good rule to follow, YOLO. Create your own Spring Break! You go, Glenn Coco. There are no obstacles to hold you back. Have children? Bring them with you and party with them! The more the merrier! There’s no stopping you. Beer gut? It’s not there if you’re too intoxicated to have the capability to focus. Outta sight, outta mind. Living with the parents is strange? No, it’s the new norm. Make the best of it and bring them with you. Parents are great drinking buddies, until they guzzle down all the good stuff. Thanks Dad. Bring your wife, Barbara! She might pester you about your weight, but geez Barbara! Cut him some slack! He just killed a tiger, what have you done today? Perhaps Barbara should avert her attention to her kids instead of always badgering her husband. We can’t have little Cindy becoming addicted to alcohol at such a young age. 

After a bit of pondering, I withdraw my statement. This is a public service announcement. Do not bring your family on your Spring Break vacation. Instead, just go to Vegas alone.

*** Editor's Note: Students developed the topic of Fêtes and Folly to chronicle elegant celebrations, bad dates, late nights, or other things related to that time in Spring where barbaric yawps can be heard from backyards, beaches, or the more familiar rooftop. Enjoy their revelry, cheeky overstatement, and occasional tales of ribaldry over the next couple of weeks.

Sounds Assembling is also the name of a book of poetry Brooker published. Readers thought his poems were abstract paintings in ink on paper. These two words represent his skills of painting and writing.

"Once I saw the village butcher slice the neck of a bird and drain the blood out of it. I wanted to cry out, but his joyful expression caught the sound in my throat ... This cry, I always feel it there…When I painted the beef carcass it was still this cry that I wanted to liberate. I have still not succeeded." ~Chaim Soutine

Soutine was the only Expressionist painter in Paris, but he still had a successful career. Throughout his life, Soutine experienced depression, but also had a short temper. His personality is shown through the layers of paint he throws onto the canvas. Along with the use of an excessive amount of paint, Soutine is known for painting still life art. He especially enjoyed focusing on the carcasses of animals, which shows his interest in death. His strange concentration on animals may be due to the lack of food in his childhood or due to food's central role in Jewish ritual. Expressionist artists commonly used exaggerated brushstrokes, which can be seen in this carcass. Soutine's swirling style in this painting also shows his inner emotions. In Carcass of Beef, the beef is harshly cut open, but the style of the painting is very similar to Soutine's inspiration's,  Rembrandt, painting, Slaughtered Ox.

Soutine also had a different way of painting the carcass. He first purchased a piece of beef at a slaughterhouse and hung it in his studio. Every few days, Soutine would ask his assistant to bring him a bucket of fresh cow blood. While painting, Soutine would frequently pour the blood over the carcass to accurately capture the freshness of cut beef. But, his painting didn’t come with consequences. While the assistant fanned away the flies, the neighbors complained about the smell, which led to health inspectors attempting to take away the meat. Soutine was too immersed in his work, so his assistant placated the authorities, which allowed Soutine to finish his masterpiece.