My Kid Could Paint That

Fiorentino, Moses Defending the Daughters of Jethro, 1523

On just another day in the city of Jethro,
the daughters of which went to water their sheep.
Innocently attending to their chores without weep.

On that same day in the city of Jethro,
Some selfish Shepards chose to water their flock
Pushing away from the well the daughters with their squawk.

Enter Moses, king of chivalry, 
Who kicked the shepards' butts.

It's the small victories. Exaggerating such a small occurrence as Moses Defending the Daughters of Jethro, Fiorentino highlights the small peaks of humanity within everyday life. After all, in tribute to African History Through Fiction and Film, "the world is never saved in grand messianic gestures, but in the simple accumulation of gentle, soft, almost invisible acts of compassion." Although this painting does not necessarily portray a peaceful approach at humanity, Moses's compassion shines through as an Old Testament vigilante. Despite his approach, his goal was all for the good of justice.

I think Fiorentino's interpretation, depicting a menial well dispute as an intense battle, shows the importance of the small things. It's standing up for little moments that improves humanity. Not only does he cause reflection of morality, but Fiorentino also embarks on certain signature style. Fiorentino's exaggeration of lights and darks defines each muscle revealing the stylistic, eerily hyper-realistic strength of each man. The exaggeration of the story mirrors Fiorentino's painting technique.

Gregor Erhart, Allegory of Vanity, c.1500

"Where did you go? Woah."

Age does seem to hurt some more than others. Gregor Erhart's Allegory of Vanity embodies the omnipresent fear of death apparent throughout the Northern Renaissance. The old woman's overall sagginess and wrinkles deeply contrast the beauty of the youth beside her, inflicting a stark fear of aging, or at the very least a small gag. Similarly, the Arctic Monkeys set up young and old in a sexual manner, "You use to only get it in your fishnets, now you only get it in your night dress."

The natural act of growing old leaves a bad impression, hence the seemingly unattractive face of the old lass above. However, it isn't the ugliness of old age that leaves a bitter taste, but the loss of physical beauty, after all, "Nothing seems as pretty as the past." The reluctance of the older woman in "Fluorescent Adolescent" derives from the loss of dreams, when she realizes past dreams were "not as daft as they seem when she dreamed them up." What does she do once the dreams that once drove her no longer can? Making new dreams is a step everyone takes, however the unknown of it all still strikes fear. For the woman in "Fluorescent Adolescent", the unknown takes form of the obvious sexual change from fishnets to night dresses, territory she had yet to explore. As for the woman in Allegory of Vanity, a sexual component may be prevalent. Her contrasting deep wrinkles, though, foreshadow her upcoming death.

Although not quite in the fishnet or sagginess stage, I too have glorified the past. If we are consumed by the nostalgia, much can go unappreciated in the present. It is necessary to understand that the wrinkly woman is not just the decaying body, but also the smooth woman beside her. Just because the dreams and physical appearance of a may person change, the experience does not. Although you can imagine, never again can you experience the joy of the split-moment you stacked one triangle block onto a large rectangle block as a toddler. But you can revel in those present joys.

Nonetheless, whether you switch from fishnets to a night dress, or you acquire wrinkles the size of the Grand Canyon, acceptance is necessary for "You're not coming back again."

Pieter Bruegel the Elder, Hunters in the Snow, 1565

Kenne Gregoire, Party Hat, 1951

I believe the quality of one's hat cannot be judged based solely upon the head-wear's physical appearance, but by the attitude of he who wears it. After all, it is the person who wears the hat, not the other way around. So, with this in mind, my adoration of Kenne Gregoire's Party Hat grew quite strong.

I choose this piece specifically for the story it told. The use of hats as symbols of larger themes, for this case youth or loss of innocence, produces a strong image. A loss that anyone with the ability to think about has thought about, the image transcends social boundaries. Seen through the intensely defined sad look in the man's eyes, the hat fails to bring the happiness it might have brought in the man's childhood. However, what really threw me was why his face and ears were so small compared to his head. Almost as if to reflect the unhappiness with his old body, Gregoire keeps the man's face and ears in proportion to the hat, a representation of the man's longing for his youth, rather than his overgrown, physically wrinkled body.

With deeper themes aside, the simplicity of the party hat itself in comparison to the large wrinkled man who wears it, is laughable. And in the craze to find the craziest hat, Party Hat contrasts the majority of over the top extravagant hats, ultimately making it the most eccentric.

Francesco Bianchi, Arion Riding on a Dolphin, c. 1500

I see whimsical, I see creepy, I see a naked kid playing a lute on a fish. However, according to Michael Baxandall, author of The Painting and Experience of Fifteenth-Century Italy, to fully understand the art the viewer must see through the eyes of the time, or in other words, a period eye.

With that in mind, I see Arion, the poet of Greek myth being saved by a dolphin from pirates. In addition, I see the influence of Greek and Roman art on Renaissance artists inspiring the humanism movement. This is not just a naked kid on a fish, but a tribute to the ancient Greek arts. The unique choice by an Italian artist to paint a Greek myth, reveals the extent Greek antiquity and humanism had on artists willing to conflict with the orthodox. Thus Arion Riding on a Dolphin reflects the story that would otherwise be lost if the viewer failed to look at this painting through Baxandall's period eye.

The importance of period eye may reflect the historical, social, and political background of the piece, however this is completely led by the painter's intent. Similar to a piece of writing, there are many more ways to view and understand any piece of art. The author's intent should not matter in the formation of opinions, and neither should the artists. Their job is to create, leaving interpretation to the viewer. Although I agree period eye is important, the present reception and the effect each stroke has on the viewer at least balances the scale of significance.

So yes, this is Arion the Greek poet being rescued by a dolphin, but, the whimsical charm of the soft strokes, and seemingly shiny surface gives the subject a cartoonish happy feel only able to understand through viewing.

Raphael, School of Athens, 1511

As an ancient day myth-buster, Diagoras of Melos often expressed his detective side by proving many so called religious miracles false. Ultimately he became the first atheist. The humanism and Greek antiquity movement pushed social norms by combining pagan and Catholicism, and similarly, Diagoras of Melos challenged the common Greek Orphic doctrine of his time. Diagoras was on a completely different level. Evidently for him, limits were non-existent, as he cuts up a wooden sculpture of Hercules and throws it into the fire, claiming Hercules' thirteenth labor would be cooking turnips. It was these schemes that led to Diagoras' exile from Athens.

Although Diagoras often contradicted the Greek mythology that Italian humanism came to love, his free-spirited arguments could not be ignored in the quest for truth and knowledge that was the Italian humanism movement. Raphael acknowledges this as he paints Diagoras as a hot mess. It was Diagoras' persistence, courage, and drive that sparked other scholars to think in a new light. Whether right or wrong, Diagoras played the devil's advocate way back in the fifth century.

Do you think Diagoras is a cool guy? You can friend him on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/diagorasofmelos

Donatello, St. Louis of Toulouse, 1421-1425

Realism, it's an art. For sculpture, realism is accurately sculpting so that the sculpture represents the model. For Donatello's St. Louis of Toulouse, it is more accurately called a sculpture representing the person's character, ultimately contrasting the realistic majority of Donatello's work from this decade.

However, the work is often regarded as St. Louis the Blunder, the worst work in Donatello's career. Donatello backs his disastrous work by claiming "that he had done it that way only after careful study, since Saint Louis was a blunderer said by Vasari " to have abandoned his kingdom to become a monk." Although an obvious scapegoat for his own mistake, his reasoning takes on a whole new meaning of art. Applying character to modelling style surpasses typical sculpture. Similar to the annoyingly popular phrase, don't judge a book by its cover, the quality of this piece falls beyond the original blundering, and into the actual blundering of this character in biblical terms.

Donatello, The Prophet Habakkuk, 1423-1426

Giotto, Sermon to the Birds, c. 1290

A part of Giotto's collection, Legend of St. Francis, Sermon to the Birds illustrates the Snow White-esque personality of St. Francis. Adored by his followers, the commonest of commoners are free to be led to salvation to this ground-hearted saint. However, irony lies in the side character's expressions of bewilderment and almost repulsion. With a large following, St. Francis actions, portrayed in many of Giotto's paintings, conflict with the normality of the character's around him. Which issues the question, how well do the followers understand their Saint? Although renowned for his humbleness, Giotto and many other cultish Giotto followers ignore this quality and instead embellish St. Francis onto large scale panels. 

Despite this, the story portrayed in Giotto's work expresses that Snow-White true to St. Francis. The hypocritical nature relevant in all human beings reflects through the religious hypocritical backing of these series of paintings. However, for me this hypocrisy makes the stories more tangible. Understanding that the followers practice, but aren't perfect copies of their beloved leader, makes these people relevant. This concept peeks through in Sermon to the Birds in the expression of the character beside St. Francis. His overall weariness parallels the general weariness a person would have as they watch a saint talking to birds - accentuating the false reality in fables, and the underlying morals in which St. Francis truly preaches. 

Giovanni Battista Moroni, Portrait of a Young Girl,  1564

A rare portrait of someone so young, this young girl posing in such elegant clothing reflects the image of a young Ghismonda, placed on a pedestal by her obsessive father. In the first story of the fourth day in The Decameron, the possessive Tancredi, Prince of Salerno, kills his daughter’s secret lover because of his lack of rank. The daughter, Ghismonda, in grief, drinks her dead lover's heart blood with poison, and dies. Giovanni’s Portrait of A Young Girl follows the beginning of this same pattern.

Embellished with pearls, the young girl stiffly looks straight at the painter. However her hand’s playfulness lead the reminder of the child behind the parental decoration. Similarly, Ghismonda’s suppression, and overwhelming devotion brought upon her by her father ultimately led her to yield “to a man who was not [her] husband.”  The fact he was of lower rank shows her rebellion against the standard her father unknowingly provided her. It was the elaborating, and smothering of his daughter that Tancredi went wrong. When I see Portrait of a Young Girl, I see a wealthy child forced to pose for hours, in order to add a prop to her family’s household. The child is a prop that the family would be unwilling “to part with,” just as Tancredi feels about Ghismonda 

However, the bond Tancredi holds for his daughter surpasses any usual father daughter love. The obsession stage the Portrait of a Young Girl is in is only but a stage of every father/daughter relationship, and the daughter naturally will grow up, and be her own person-separate from her father’s image. But, Tancredi never outgrows this phase. Tancredi “was so devoted to her that he was in no hurry to make her a second marriage,” because letting her go the first time was hard enough of such a possessive man. Although odds are, the young girl in Moroni's portrait did not drink her dead lover’s heart besprinkled with poison, she probably did rebel against her father’s adornment at one time.

Max Ernst, Attirement of the Bride, 1940

Drawn to this painting by its whimsical, slightly jaded tone, I felt I was doing an injustice not to keep it on the wall. Originally, it was Ernst’s clever use of surrealism that held my attention. Surrealism has always been a technique I wanted to be good at in my own paintings, and because of that I really admire the absurdity Max Ernst creates. That being said, Max Ernst dabbled often in the absurdity as he claims in 1930. "Ernst was visited nearly every day by the Bird Superior, named Loplop, an extraordinary phantom of model fidelity who attached himself to [his] person. He presented [him] with a heart in a cage, two petals, three leaves, a flower and a young girl." This bit of information inclines me to feel overwhelmed with the symbolism behind these characters and this painting.

Not knowing where to begin in this absurd conundrum I resort to analysing the title, leading my attention to the attire of the bride in the center. Her get-up could be seen as a luxurious cloak transformed to look like a bird. Fashioning this bird cloak, the bride's nakedness peeks through, mirroring the picture on the wall. However, the fantasy characters around her fail to appear in the picture. Almost as if Ernst is taking a "normal" picture in the background, and inserting his own surrealist twist, proving to the world his possible verge on insanity.