My Kid Could Paint That

Awkward First Kiss

By ELIZABETH ELLIS

Klimt’s painting evokes the comfort and pureness of the couple embracing. The Kiss was created during Klimt’s “Golden Period” where he used oil paint with layers of gold leaf when combining the Art Nouveau style with more organic forms. He leaves the couple enfolded in gold and flat patterns while highlighting the realistic form of the figures. Klimt was inspired to focus on gold a trip he made in Italy and the Byzantine style that focused on flat, depth-lacking figures and gold. Klimt combines and contrasts the two styles. He focuses on the flat patterns covering the gold to give detail to the painting, while giving a soft shadow and lightness to the realistic figures. 

His composition is linear, with the couple almost seems to jut up against the flowers and the woman’s feet forming a right angle, while the patterns he uses also following a linear direction. While the composition is very strict, Klimt softens the painting with his detailed flowers and his contrasting, harsh black lines on the man and softer circles on the woman. He also adds shadows to his gold background by adding a shimmery layer to the darker background, softening the sharp effect of the gold and linear composition and giving the painting a simultaneous modern and ethereal effect. 

The flowers surrounding the couple add a natural effect to the painting, even as Klimt uses flatter colors to emphasize the pattern. Klimt’s use of gold and full, colorful patterns adds to the emotion of the painting and the dreamy quality of the couple embracing. The quiet intimacy can be seen is the soft features of the woman’s face, eyes closed in trust and hands clasped around the man’s hand and neck. The man cradles the woman’s face delicately and seems content to just hold her. The emotions Klimt shows transcends the simple act of a kiss and shows the love and trust between the lovers.

Awkward First Kiss

By ELIZABETH ELLIS

In Fragonard’s The Stolen Kiss, a young girl and boy attempt to steal a kiss hidden away in shadow. The young woman seems nervous in the painting, leaning towards the boy while refusing to make eye contact, scanning the room for anyone who could catch them in the act. The boy is hidden behind the door while trying to reel her in by the wrist. Everything in the room seems set to be romantic and dreamy; the light falls gently on the young couple, there is a softness of emotion in their faces, and the focus on clothing adds detail to an otherwise smoothness in the painting. 

Fragonard adds the sense of nervousness and intrigue to the painting by focusing on the emotion and body set of the young lady, leaning towards the boy while watching for the women at the party who could walk in at any time. Fragonard paints in the Rococo style with his attention to the detailing of the clothing. The focus on the painting goes from the smoothness of the young lady’s skin directly down to the satin sheen and heavy folds of her dress and then is drawn right by the blue-stripped cloth and shows the drama of the painting: the danger of being caught by the ladies on the far right, hidden in shadow. Fragonard’s focus on the heavy cloth extends to the pink heavy curtains on the doors, to the heavy cloth draped behind the chair, and finally ending on the embroidered, stylized rug. He adds to the intimate scene of the room by bathing it in warm light and keeping the room smaller to contrast to the darker tones of the hidden room on the right and the cool, intricate white detail of architecture above the party.

Fragonard’s painting seems romantic, but also shows the innocence of young love set in a court where gossip ruled and the emotion of the young girl shines through the cloud-like nature of the rest of the painting. 

Awkward First Kiss

By ELIZABETH ELLIS

We’ve all been there before: you’re dancing in the club, having a good time, when you feel some drunk guy start grinding into you from behind and grabbing at you to the beat of DJ Khalid’s new single, “I’m the One.” Your mood plummets from a twelve to about a three as you get pushed off the dance floor by the guy’s enthusiastic hip thrusts. Now imagine this time you turn around and the guy is a strangely muscular zombie-man with Trump hair and the dance floor isn’t a poorly lit room with a mass of writhing bodies but a desolate graveyard and your sequin dress has turned into a white sheet.

This is what life is like for the young girl in Death and the Maiden. Death has appeared behind her and starts to pull her into the grave burial place at the right bottom corner of the painting. Death tangles his hand in her hair to tip her face back and give her the kiss of death. He gropes at the skin by her breast which shows the tainting of the maiden’s innocent life by the plague and death spreading through Europe. As Death starts grabbing her, he grabs at the life within her as well. Her skin turns pallid and as pale as the bed sheet she wears around her waist. Her body seems to weaken from his grasp and her limbs go akimbo as she collapses. The emotional and physical turmoil within the maiden manifests itself as the bloody tears that leak down her face. This image of death and a maiden stems from the myth of the abduction of Persephone by Hades. Hades, god of the underworld, appeared from a crevice where Persephone had plucked a flower and took her to the underworld. The influence from the myth is plainly seen, as Death embodied tries to drag the young girl into her grave with his romantic advances.

For all the girls out there, remember, the  next time a guy is trying to hit it from behind in the club and fistbump you in the back of the head, he could be a ripped tan death zombie with surfer hair trying to pull you into a grave and you could be a maiden in the 1500s Germany, afraid of dying of the plague before you reach fifteen years old. So take that dude outside and bodyslam’em into an open grave.

Band Name: Les FC

Album Name: paqueté à la party 

Les FC are a Canadian pop punk band new onto the Quebec scene this summer.  Their name, Les FC, stands for "The French Canadiens." They're emerging with their first album, paqueté à la party (wasted at the party), that combines hard hitting beats, life of the party troubles, and French Canadian slang with songs like "Habs and Dabs" and "SCW" (Stanley Cup Woes). The album art is just as eye-catching as the songs on the album. Les FC, in an interview with Rolling Stone, said they choose the art because of the vibrant red, reminiscent of the Canadian Flag, the muscular man with the physique of a hockey player, and the sick eagle. 

This album's reignited the Canadian pop punk genre, calling back to bands like Jersey and Avril Lavigne. Their smooth song "je m'en sacre" features maple-syrupy-slow lyrics and a French chorus that will have you singing along on those late night drives. This unapologetically Canadian band will have you singing along to "Sorry, eh" while eating poutine.

Editor's Note: Students happened upon a cache of hidden records with cover art from the Baroque masters. They were charged to investigate the vinyls. The above are their findings. 

The commission of the design for the fountain meant to be at the center of the Piazza Navona furthered the intense rivalry between Borromini and Bernini. Pope Innocent X asked Borromini to engineer a new pipeline, redirecting the water from the Fontana di Trevi commissioned by Pope Urban VIII. The pope said that if Borromini could redirect the water, the commission for the design of the fountain would essentially be his, even while the Pope would hold a small competition for the commission. Upon learning about the engineering feat he would have to perform, Borrimini decided to base his design of the idea of all four rivers of the known world meeting in the fountain; the Ganges, the Danube, the Nile, and the Plata in South America. 

Caravaggio's painting depicts the inside of a dark, vast church, where converts wait, undressed and prepared for their baptism. Despite the religious precedents for this painting, in which they focus on the ascension of St. Matthew as the center of the painting, Caravaggio chooses to place the assassin at the center of the painting, light falling on him, as his figure and the figure of St. Matthew form a triangle at the center of the painting. This is an odd irony; the light falls, godlike, on the killer, while St. Matthew's body seems almost ready to fall backwards into the abyss below him. As the assassin prepares the killing blow, the figures of the converted scatter and flee, while the only one to stay is the angel descending, ready to place the palm of the martyr into St. Matthew's outstretched hand.

Composition-wise,  Parable of the Blind is a clear example of Bruegel stylistic tones and subject choices. His earthy color choices and painting techniques give a humanistic realism to the scene. He painted so that his people seem to be stepping lightly and that the entire painting is slightly translucent and light. Bruegel's composition has the line of blind men cutting diagonally across painting in the foreground. Bruegel places the Sint-Anna Church in the background and, true to Bruegel's previous compositions, has a faded horizon deep into the painting. 

Despite the religious influences of the painting, Bruegel still maintains the human empathy and feeling he is known for. Bruegel emphasizes the people, rather than the religious aspects of the painting by placing the church in the background. The painting features a scene taken from the Bible, from the Gospel of Matthew 15:14. Jesus explains, "Leave them; they are blind guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit."  He uses accurate depictions of the blind in his artwork, through use of different afflictions for the figures, their use of poles, and their body language. Each of the figures has a different eye problem, including removed eyes, atrophy of globe, and corneal leukoma. Their faces are tilted upward, to make better use of their other senses, like smell. Bruegel brings to life the chosen passage from the Bible with his color choices, composition, and realistic aspects of the passage.

In the first full-length nude self-study, Durer portrays himself in only a hairnet or cap. There are two focus points in his nude drawing:  Durer's face and his, ah-hem, genitals capture the gaze. His muscles bulge as his gaze travels beyond the painting, a simple background giving greater attention to the whorls of lines and shadows covering his body.

What's perhaps rather ironic about his portrayal of himself is that Durer was sick in 1503, when he was creating this peace, and yet drew himself as a powerful and bold younger man. Only his face, eyes slightly sunken in and cheeks hollowed, give away any hints of sickness. Of course, Durer's obsession with drawing himself as slightly better than ideal came from even before the Self-Portrait Nude. His body and pose in Self-Portrait Nude is reminiscent of Apollo from Durer's earlier work, Apollo and Diana. In addition to this idea of being one of the gods, the practice of imitatio Christi was already popular in Europe, where artists changed their own features to take on the features of Christ.

In previous works, Durer had changed the color of his hair, the shape of his face, and placed his arms in the symbol of blessing, all to mimic Christ and bring holiness and a sense of immortality to his works and himself. The pride behind using imitation Christ fills all of Durer's works, from Adam and Eve (The Fall of Man), where Durer inserted his cartellino into the painting, to Self-Portrait, where Durer shows himself practically as Christ. His hair is darkened, and split into the style of Jesus Christ, and he wears luxurious furs. To bring all of this together in reference to his Self-Portrait Nude, I believe that rather than focusing on correct proportions, Durer gave into his ego when creating this carving. Durer drew what he knew, or thought, rather than what he saw in the mirror.