Art History Hotties: Laughing Cavalier

Art History Hotties
Frans Hals, Laughing Cavalier, 1624
By ZOE BROUS

Greetings participants of dutchmingle.com. My friends call me The Laughing Cavalier, and I am in desperate need of a loving wife. As you can see from the inscription on the top right corner, I am 26 years old. As I embark on my mid-twenties, I fear death. Therefore, I need to spend the rest of my life living in luxury and vices. On weekends I enjoy shopping for expensive hats, and I always make time to worship the Lord. I spend many hours plucking my eyebrows and curling my hair daily. I need a woman who possesses skin more fair than mine. I desire a Christian women with status and wealth. If you display attraction to my profile pic, have your messenger pigeon hit me up.

I joined dutchmingle.com to look for my soulmate, and I believe I can find my special lady. I need an adventurous and loyal women. I do not wish to engage with women who only wants to marry me for my wealth. During my free time, I enjoy participating in intimate scandalous activities. The laughing smirk on my face hints at the mysterious yet enjoyable qualities I posses. Laughter in paintings remains rare, as most artists portray more of a serious approach towards their subjects. I think the classic yet serious stares in most portraits are boring, so I decided to spice up the era. I believe my playful laughter makes my profile pic unique. 

The delicate and intricate brushstrokes on my most elegant outfit displays my immense wealth and status. Of course I picked out the most flamboyant outfit I own. I enjoy to flaunt my superiority, like most men in the 17th century. I obviously earn a spot in the top 10 most viewed dutchmingle.com profiles. My looks capture women’s attention instantly. I spend hours of my day having my servants groom my mustache. My hat collection continues to grow, (it might be bigger than my ego). I urge women of all ages to pick me on this dating site. I am the best candidate because of my suggestive yet innocent smirk, devious eyes, dashing mustache, extravagant apparel, and of course my overflowing bank account. Not to mention I have a rocking body under all these layers of clothes too. I am definitely at least a 10/10.
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Ribbon and Spears by Trendoid Age

Company of Captain Reinier Reael



Band: Trendoid Age
Album: Ribbon and Spears
Trendoid Age's Ribbon and Spears showcases the best of today's punk music scene. Trendoid Age features awe striking guitar solos with infectious drum beats. The band decided that Frans Hal's Company of Captain Reinier Reael illustrates the true camaraderie of band while contributing to the band's unique style. They appear in concert dressed in 17th century garb and they rely their passion for the punk genre. Trendoid Age jets off on their latest world tour that showcases their newest album. Ribbon and Spears contains hit music that experts in the music business favorite to win several Grammys. 

Editor's Note: Students happened upon a cache of hidden records with cover art from the Baroque masters. They were charged to investigate the vinyls. The above are their findings. 












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Officers and Subalterns of the St. Hadrian Civic Guard Company

Frans Hals

Officers and Subalterns of the St. Hadrian Civic Guard Company, Frans Hals, 1633

Welcome to Version 2.0 of Where's Waldo-- with a twist. Themed during the sixteen hundreds, this time, you're trying to find the unhappy, mustache-less man. (Hint: He's on the left side.) Or if you insist, you can also play Spot the Difference. Also look for the man that doesn't have his head slanted. (Hint: There's actually two.)

Painted by Frans Hals in 1633, Officers and Subalterns of the St. Hadrian Civic Guard Company has  trademark features that screams Frans Hals - the mustaches and suspiciously happy men. Also a characteristic trait of tilted heads. On a second look, one can find that in this painting especially, the vast majority of the happy-go-lucky mustache men have tilted heads as they stare directly at the viewer or giving the fish-eye at fellow company members.

Though his techniques in general were not original, such as changing eye contact and body turns or the alla-prima technique from the Italians, his methods of creating the look are well-praised. Hals also has an unusual, meticulous manner of painting his classic mustaches, for each hair seems alive and individual. Not only was his facial hair on his portrayals elaborate, the details of each outfit are particular as well. From the collar to the hundreds of wrinkles through out, each outfit is slightly different on each man- an attention to detail that not all artists have. (Take for example, Night Watch, by Rembrandt. The further away the men are from the center light, the more blurry and blob-like they are.)

And if there's anything that one should take away from this post, that is, on any painting, one can easily identify Frans Hals by the tilted heads, the mustache, the details, and the bilious, happy smiles.

And if you really couldn't find the answers to the games, the men are right under the American flag to the left. While you're re-looking, you might as well get yourself a new pair of spectacles.

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