My Kid Could Paint That

My wife and I were on our honeymoon at the beach. It was different from the Midwest. It was all about sunshine and hotties. When I say hotties, I mean Rita especially. She was in her sexy dress-like swimming suit that makes her beautiful legs longer and smoother. Rita was not feeling well because of the hot weather. She was holding her pink handkerchief to wipe her good-smelling sweat all the time. I guess she was pretty sick, even my groovy body with six beautiful abdominal muscles and the curly mustache she loved couldn't make her look happy. I looked at her with my dark brown eyes. She was shy to look at my beautiful face and turned away.
On the beach, there was this weird family. The mom in red was fixing her long red hair while the father and son were measuring her body with a tailor's cloth ruler. They were talking about something like "this dress is too loose," "modify the waist," "don't move," "taking picture" "ins gallery." I guess the mom is a galler (a made-up word similar to blogger) in the Instagram Gallery who hangs a picture of herself to gain fame. It is a new form of art which I don't understand. All I know is future generations will remember me for my magnificent paintings but maybe not their work.

Matilda Denison, as depicted, was most definitely an Art History hottie. Her dainty appearance and pale skin should dictate her time period. In the late 1700's and early 1800's this look was quite common. Normally, the paler skin and corset indicated a wealthier family, but her outfit says otherwise. 

The dead look on her face almost give off a creepy vibe that would make anyone else uncomfortable, but the deeper I stare into the eyes of this woman, the more I fall in love with this painting. Miss Denison's companion, the squirrel to the left of her, looks like he's up to no good. The cardinal in her hand looks slightly frightened. The animals add a more uncomfortable feeling to the portrait, but the woman's face already makes me feel like I'm being chastised by my middle-aged neighbor for letting my ball roll into her yard. 

The colors used Miss Denison's were carefully chosen by the artist to contrast with the background. The green and pink in her dress contrast well with the darker border around her body. 

The jawline, the pectoral muscles, the tasteful peek at the down below, and the precarious placement of the luxurious golden sheet all contribute to the deliciousness of this historical hunk. His casual sideways glance is enough to make any young girl swoon. However, it wasn't girls that our handsome model was after, and the true intrigue of this portrait lies in the history of the artist and his relationship with the model.

The artist, Paul Hoecker, had his fair share of sexual scandals. In 1897, word broke that Hoecker had used a male prostitute as a model for a painting of the Madonna. Eventually, this scandal forced him to resign from his elite position at the Munich Academy. He was socially rejected by his peers and retreated to Capri where he met the poet Jacques d'Adelsward-Ferson, who had fled Paris after his own scandal. There, Hoecker painted several portraits, including this one, of Fersen's lover, Nino Cesarini.

Nino Cesarini met Jacques d'Adelsward-Fersen in Rome on July 9th, 1904 at the tender age of fourteen. He found work as a construction worker and a newspaper salesman. Fersen conned Nino's parents into allowing Nino to work as a "secretary" with him in Capri. Their secret relationship blossomed, and Fersen commissioned several artists to immortalize Nino's beauty.  Fersen also commissioned famous sculptor, Francesco Jeraceto to cast a bronze statute of Nino. He also had Nino photographed as a Roman emperor and a Christian saint. He eventually sold these photographs commercially and faced radical criticism.

Nino, whose sexuality was not bound by gender constraints, also attracted women. When Nino and Fersen traveled to Venice, Nino flirted with Ricoy Antokolsky who eventually managed to seduce him. Fersen was enraged and produced a volume of poems that praised Nino's physical beauty in fear of being abandoned by his lover.

In 1923, Italian author and poet, Ada Negri, described the home of Nino and Fersen as "a place where everything was very beautiful, including Nino, the secretary, with the intense gaze of deep black eyes, crowned by well shaped eyebrows." He also noted that Fersen, who he considered "Nino's protector and lover" was greatly dependent on opium and smoked over thirty pipes a day.

In the same year, Fersen died of an overdose of cocaine dissolved in a glass of champagne. There were suspicions of suicide, but no evidence to substantiate the claim. Nino was named as the sole recipient of Fersen's estate in his will. In an attempt to preserve the family estate, Fersen's family spread a rumor that Nino had poisoned him in a jealous rage. Though the claim was taken seriously by the authorities in Naples, the accusation was dismissed.

Forbidden love, secret trysts, bisexual models, and alleged murder. What more could you want from an Art History Hottie? 

By NAYOUNG KWON

The Rococo period influenced many European countries with elegance and delicate looks. Russia was one of those countries that was heavily influenced and carried the trend till the 18th century. Not only did Rococo influenced paintings and architectures, it also set the trend of female beauty. During the period, many young women used makeup to glow themselves up (this only applies to wealthy, though). For this week's Art history hotties,  Portrait of Countess Urszula Mniszech makes the cut for perfect example of a girl who went from wearing paper bags to a full face glam.

This painting is an example of the pure look that Russia aimed for during the Rococo period. The Cotton candy like hair and a "touch" of blush on the nose, cheeks and eyes can make anyone look flattering and innocent. In our society today, we follow the motto, "Beautiful without makeup" but it seems that it does not apply in this era at all. But no one seems to mind and the artists who paints these models most certainly doesn't mind either.

Jean-Baptiste Greuze's laundress glances up at us mischievously in the midst of this sultry scene of domesticity. She bends over a basin of water and washes linens. The background of The Laundress consists of dreary grey and brown tones. Everyday items such as a pitcher, baskets, and wooden cabinets mirror the sentiments of the Sensibility movement, which sought to challenge the Rococo portrayal of aristocratic life.

This painting illustrates an ordinary chore, laundry. However, the young, rosy-faced laundress assumes a cheeky pose. She presents a red-slippered foot, a scandalous act of exposure for her time. The muted tones of the laundress's clothes and background make the scarlet slipper, positioned in the bottom center of the canvas, a focal point. Our subject looks directly at the viewer, almost as if she has been interrupted in a private moment.

Although Greuze aims to portray daily life, he seems to glamorize the act of laundry with this Art History Hottie. The laundry room gets a bit more steamy with the addition of an oh-so-subtle ankle reveal and a charming glance.

By KAELYN ROSS

Oh, Bacchus. You know my one weakness -- the way your pectoral muscle defines your masculine chest. My eyes immediately focus on your suggestive yet elegant torso. After appreciating that area, my eyes wander to your flawless, hairless arm pits. The shadows created by your muscles pull me in continuously deeper into that arm. But, no! Not yet. I pull myself out of it because I know that your biceps also require praising.

Your protruding ivory collarbones guide me on a journey to your superbly highlighted shoulder. I trail down your forearm to notice your hand as it gently pinches the draped sheet that unfortunately covers the rest of your chest. The surplus of your off-white linen sheets swathes a tainted pillow, which is kind of gross. I am willing to ignore it for all of your positive aspects.

Your flamboyant headwear that your mother probably made for you from findings in the background truly captures how greatly you value family. Aw. I admire your courage to spray tan only your face, beautifully defining your jawline. You obviously are staring at me, giving me that signature smolder. And the eyebrows, of course! The framing of the whole face. They say that eyebrows are sisters and not twins, but oh my, I beg to differ with yours.

That hair... Those curls are like millions of little arms reaching out to embrace me. This photo is obviously him asking me out. Yes, a million times YES!

When you think about autumn, you might think about leafs crunching under your feet, the chilly weather, or maybe pumpkin spice lattes. Well, I know one thing you weren't thinking about; grapes. Specifically, grapes being held by a nude nymph who seductively stares into your soul. Interestingly, I can't seem to think of what autumn, grapes, and nymphs have to do with each other, and I'm guessing you might also be confused.

 First, grapes might have religious context as a reference to Jesus and the last supper where he gives his disciples wine resembling his blood. Secondly, they might be a reference to Dionysus, the Greek god of wine and religious ecstasy. However, I fail to see what either of these things have to do with autumn. Maybe during autumn, there were massive parties where everyone chugged wine while talking about religion. I somehow doubt it.

Autumn, by Rosalba Carriera, is one of a series of four paintings about the four seasons. Each painting depicts a partially nude nymph with an item that corresponds to their season. Spring gently sniffs a small white flower. Summer is, well, just holding a small white flower. Winter is adorned with a luxurious fur coat, and then there's Autumn, just holding some grapes. 

Greetings participants of dutchmingle.com. My friends call me The Laughing Cavalier, and I am in desperate need of a loving wife. As you can see from the inscription on the top right corner, I am 26 years old. As I embark on my mid-twenties, I fear death. Therefore, I need to spend the rest of my life living in luxury and vices. On weekends I enjoy shopping for expensive hats, and I always make time to worship the Lord. I spend many hours plucking my eyebrows and curling my hair daily. I need a woman who possesses skin more fair than mine. I desire a Christian women with status and wealth. If you display attraction to my profile pic, have your messenger pigeon hit me up.

The painting, Danae, tells an erotic mythical story by the Greeks. The woman in the painting, Danae, and the ultimate playboy, the mighty Zeus, fell in love, but their affair was stopped by her father because of a prophecy saying a son born of his daughter would in the end be led to kill him. To foil the prophesy, her father locked Danae in a brass chamber. However, Zeus with all his mighty powers transformed himself into golden rain and impregnated Danae with Perseus. This painting captured that moment of intimacy.

If we look closer to the painting, we see Danae in the center of the painting curled up with her eyes shut and lips parted, her hand grabbing her own breast, and the golden rain falling down from above.  In a way, the amount of private sensation in this painting is almost disturbing to the viewers; we see a woman completely exposed, but meanwhile Danae is only paying attention to her pleasure. 

Gustav Klimt was an Austrian artist who mostly painted large scale painting of female bodies. Klimt was highly influenced by Japanese prints, which was fairly popular during his time. We can see the resemblance from the flat color and his use of patterns. In Danae, we can also see his distinctive style of painting: the orange patterns on the black voile hint at the Japanese prints. This painting was created during his "golden period," because of his often use of gold leaf; this technique is also used in Danae in the form of golden rain.

Focusing on topics of 'Suggestive Dichotomies,' young Neo-Expressionism painter, Jean-Michel Basquiat questions the people of 20th century. Touching on sensitive subjects like wealth vs. poverty, and integration vs. segregation, his abstract-like paintings have provoked discussions and grasped the attention of critics and fans. Born in Brooklyn, New York in an African-American household, Basquiat experienced the unpleasant side of life. 

At age 7, Basquiat was involved in a minor car accident that put him into a hospital. From that moment, Basquiat was forever interested in the complexity of the construction of a human body. In the painting Scull, despite the head having teeth, a nose, and eyes the painting shows the decaying of the face, which symbolizes an incomplete human being. Basquiat uses abstract lines and shapes of graffiti to cover the right side of the face giving the illusion of skin being there. By looking at the train-track like lines that could have been based off of the NY subway, he could have presented the world this piece that may represent his struggles of running away from home and exploring the chaotic side of life in New York. He uses bright complimentary colors of blue and orange to simplify the painting and emphasize the focal point, which is the head.

David Hockney captures the fleeting nature of a splash in this vibrant painting.  The piece represents one of Hockney's signature painting subjects: water. Hockney, enamored by the the perpetual motion of water, centers a splash in the center of an eerily empty California home scene. Hockney studied the movement, transparency, and depiction of water almost obsessively.

As an artist, Hockney relished the preservation of a single moment, like a splash. Hockney once noted the satisfaction he found in spending weeks to preserve a split-second event. His observation of water's qualities played into Hockney's affinity for representation. Hockney's interest in the two-dimensional portray of three dimensions plays out in the water splashing up from the pool's surface.

In this piece, a splash emerges from the surface of the swimming pool, but the source of it cannot be seen. This creates a sense of mystery and an overall eerie tone as this residential scene appears inhabited yet empty. The person (or persons) that must be beneath the surface of the water add an element of intrigue that extends beyond the canvas.

The splash depicts a temporary disruption in the calm evoked by the rest of the painting. Its dynamic shape contrasts with the rigid lines and crisp colors the Hockney employs to depict the house. This California home's stark pool deck illustrates Hockney's view of America's wide open spaces in comparison to his life in London. As a gay man in an English society hostile to the notion of homosexuality, Hockney found solace in the more liberated culture of America in the 1960s.

Roger Shimomura conveys his troubling story of his family's relocation to a Japanese internment camp during World War II throughout his works; however Minidika Series #2 directly relates to his experience moving to various camps. Shimomura, a Japanese-American born in Seattle, and his family were moved to Camp Harmony in Puyallup, Washington and then to Minidoka camp in Idaho. Growing up during and experiencing the aftermath of the racial tensions resulting from World War II has greatly influenced his works. 

Shimomura has become famous for conveying his highly political message in his pop art like style. He uses bright vibrant colors and sharp lines to create an ascetically pleasing work. He beautifully adds ionic japanese plant life and architecture such as the Itsukushima Shrine's red gate.

In Minidoka Series #2 The Exodus, Shimomura showcases the chaos that ensued throughout the Japanese-American community when transferring to these internment camps. Shimomura captures a image reminiscent of the Exodus from Egypt in the Judeo-Christian bible, through the water splitting the tents just like Moses split the red sea. Similar to Moses, Shimomura attempts to escape a life of prejudice and live life as an American. Conversely, Shimomura uses the shadow to depict the impending dark times for racial minorities in post-war American society. The historical Japanese garb represents the struggle to blend the two cultures: their identities as Americans and Japanese. Shimomura discusses racial prejudice in the United States through his use of symbolic images and pop art style. 

By KAELYN ROSS 

Diane Arbus began her career as a fashion photographer and had a husband and two children. However, her dissatisfaction with her work of perfect individuals led to her quitting her job and divorcing. She began photographing those on the margins of society, suc as transgenders, crossdressers, dwarfs, nudists and so on. All of her photos were black and white because of the limited technology in her time, but I believe that she would have still chosen black and white to suppress aspects such as race because of her desire for equality in sex and race. Her photo, Transvestite on A Couch, showcases a "male" who identified as a female. This statement seems common now, but many people were oblivious to the transgender community and she argued for it alone.

Her style often includes a large part of a solid background with the subject centered in a pose. When I first saw this piece, I thought it was just a women casually lounging in her home until I read the title and noticed more. Her titles often claim a name for the subject, changing the viewers opinions. The person in the photo appears very put together with the hair do, makeup, jewelry, and clean house but has relaxed body language. She uses the contrast of the shadowless wall to the subject in addition to the harsh vertical and horizontal lines on the walls that complement the softly curved human body. This photo's context plays a vital role in understanding her artwork as one of the few advocators of this group.

By ZOE BROUS

By ELISE FINN

Judy Chicago, an early feminist artist, challenged the "white-men-only" art world with her art. Chicago legally changed her last name to her hometown name to symbolize her struggle trough identity after becoming a widow when she was only 23-years-old. Her search of identity is also shown in her art works, which aimed to elevate women in society and history. Like her most famous work, The Dinner Party, Marie Antoinette from the Great Ladies series memorizes the contribution of the last Queen of France- Marie Antoinette.

In this piece, Judy Chicago uses spray paint on canvas to make an even texture. She developed the butterfly motif on this painting. In many religions, butterfly is a symbol of the soul after people die. So in Chicago's work, she placed a thought that the great people will live forever in our mind. The use of bright color and the gradual change of color from the center to outside makes the design looks like a sun, which also glorifies Marie Antoinette. On the rim of the painting, Chicago wrote "Marie Antoinette—during her reign women artists enjoyed great success. But the French Revolution --which brought democracy to men-caused women artists to lose their status while the Queen lost her head." Chicago pitied that great woman that raised the status of women artists died so early in which somehow effected the time and difficulty for women to get back in the art party.