My Kid Could Paint That

I am glad to know that the classic love triangle produced at least one person who voiced the couple's ridiculousness as far back as the Renaissance.

The lady in the blue dress at the center of the dance circle is definitely an art history hottie. While Hephaestus mourns the loss of his marriage to Aphrodite in the background, the new couple (Ares and Aphrodite) stand regally above rings of dancers.  The lady in blue at the back of the circle looks like this is the hundredth time she has been called to dance at a godly union.  She goes through the steps, flutters her skirt like the rest of the women, but would rather be anywhere else.  She herself is beautiful.  She has long flowing hair, smooth skin, and a rich blue dress.  Everyone around her is dressed in the same fashion, but they are enjoying the music and almost showing off.  Attractiveness comes from within and the lady in the back exudes authentic exasperation.  She is so done with the celebration as if to say "do I seriously have to dance for this?"

Her expression captures my feelings on romantic comedy TV shows so well that I can't help but have respect and admiration for her.  She is a total hottie, and her individual personality really shines through in the painting.

The hottie on the left is the primary painting of focus. While Mrs. Maria Rossi di San Secondo looks great, she's not packing heat like her hubby. While researching information on the portrait to the left, I discovered it was made as a pair to the piece on the right. The husband and wife, surrounded by their sons, lovingly gaze into each others eyes for all eternity. How cute, I naively thought as I prepared to move on and write about Pier's attractiveness. Suddenly, it clicked. I became Ace Ventura looking for the stolen Miami Dolphins bottle-nose dolphin, Snowflake, as I put the puzzle together by researching every lead extensively. This was not some innocent family portrait. Only when pasting both pictures into a Google Doc, sizing each painting equally, and using my Window 7's Snipping Tool, did the truth finally reveal itself to me. Pier's children ignorantly play around his wife's dress...except one. Following poor little Federico's line of vision, I discover he is transfixed on his father's... mid-section. But what exactly is going on with man's best friend in this painting? Knowing I couldn't leave my classmates as curious as I was, I dug deeper into Pier's mysterious bulge.

After having to delete my browser history multiple times, I finally learn that Pier is wearing a codpiece, a pouch that attaches to the crotch to extenuate pocket rockets. This was fashionable in 16th century Italy, and, sadly not as scandalous as I was hoping. Codpieces reached their peak in fashion during the spread of syphilis in the early 16th century because infected men had more room for bandages with it attached. Men also wore it as a sign of power and dominance. Men vied to have the most impressive codpiece. It even doubled as a coin purse for all your loose florins. However, what Pier used it for, only little Federico will ever know. Federico's shock, confusion, and curiosity will forever be captured in this seemingly innocent family portrait. 

Both women have flawless ivory skin, delicate facial features, brows on fleek, voluminous perms, and, of course, surprisingly perky breasts. Gaby's sister brings attention to her sister's pregnancy as she gently pinches her nipple, signifying fertility. Another symbol of her upcoming pregnancy resides in the background of the painting as an unnamed woman sews a fashionable layette for the baby boy. These shirtless hotties are also wearing the newest trends in jewelry. They've got gorgeous pearl drop earrings paired with a ring held between two perfectly manicured fingers. Gabrielle and her sister's jewelry ensemble complements their bare chests to present an aesthetic of modern simplicity and powerful sexuality as they stare directly at the viewer, daring you to say something.  All in all, these titillating girls are the total package. 

Here I am, gently giving Gaby a twist during my excursion at the Louvre.

Distinctive features? Killer jawline, piercing blue eyes, attached earlobes, banging bangs.

What do you look for in a woman? Pure, fluorescent-white skin; maternal instincts; proficient cook.

Sandro Botticelli has been a favorite of mine since I first laid eyes on his work as a young child, gazing up at the beautiful copy of Primavera on my best friend's wall. His figures are as distinctive as Fragonard's trees in their soft glowing skin and gracefully clothed bodies. In The Mystic Nativity, we see new emphasis on nature similar to that of Primavera, but with a stronger message. The robes of several of the angels seem to flow into the elements of the earth around them through the use of the deep green color. The inclusion of the forest background, greenery in the hands of angels, and the natural landscape of the foreground shows the placement of heavenly value on the natural world. To include so much nature in in such an auspicious scene with such godly figures extends an auspicious and godly status to these earthly aspects in a way that has not existed in art before this time. Recently, we read a passage in class from Pico Della Mirandola's Oration on the Dignity of Man which says that human beings were put on Earth "to ponder the plan of so great a work, to love its beauty, and to wonder at its vastness." As art progresses, Botticelli lives out this purpose in the exploration of a holy natural earth in his work as well as the emphasis of the interaction between man and the angels. 

Botticelli's use of color in the verdant greens and rosy pinks gives this painting its graceful nature. Mary and Jesus are framed by their shelter first and then again on all sides in the figures of the angels and onlookers. In a ring at the top of the painting, angels rejoice in the heavenly realms, serving as a portal to the unthinkable, to God. In composition, this painting can be split in thirds horizontally, the bottom representing life on Earth, the top representing the existence of heaven, and Jesus in the middle as the bridge between God and man. In the lower third of the painting, we see images of angels embracing humans as further demonstration of this bond. In the realm of Jesus under God, all are equal and at peace. Olive branches appear in the hands of every angel in the painting. The sharp, twisting road to Jesus shows the difficulty and the specificity of following Jesus's "way." However, as the Bible promises to good Christians, Christ himself is waiting at the end.

In the bottom third of the composition. If you look closely, you'll notice four grotesque figures of the devil. My personal favorite happens to be the blue one in the bottom right, with curly horns like a ram and a disgusting warthog face. Each one of these satanic figures is crawling back beneath the earth to hell. In the presence of Jesus, they can no longer exist on the earthly plane. Botticelli tells us that through Jesus's education for the world, he rids us of sin. There is no idea more en vogue for the Renaissance than this idea of humans as chosen beings and transcendence through education and study. Mirandola claimed human beings to be, as pictured in this painting "the intermediar[ies] between creatures, the intimate of the gods, [and] the king of the lower beings." Our free will is what makes us human. We have choice to either "degenerate into lower forms of life" or "to be reborn into higher forms." Whether or not you happen to believe in God, the idea of free will, choice, and following a path of love or hate is the thread that binds every human being together. At first glance, this may resemble a simple nativity scene, however this message to humanity is what makes it "Mystic." Although this is a deeply religious work, any person could walk up to this painting and feel the message of optimistic life through peace and the utopian world so many of us strive for.

"History: a subject which must not on any account be neglected by one who aspires true cultivation" - Leonardo Bruni

Piero della Francesca grew up in Sansepolcro, Tuscany. Sansepolcro means "Holy Sepulcher," alluding to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem. It is believed that Jesus was both buried and resurrected at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, so it is quite fitting that Francesca painted this painting of Jesus' resurrection in Francesca's hometown, which is named after the site at which the resurrection occurred. This painting was no coincidence. Francesca knew his history and created the perfect piece to be a symbol for his town. 

When looking at the painting and thinking about Bruni's quote, we must think about Jesus and his teachings. One of the main teachings of Jesus is to spread peace and love. This belief dates back to 4 BCE when he was born and continues to influence people well after his death around 30 ACE. Today, Christians study the history of Jesus' life and teachings. His beliefs from 2,000 years ago still influence people today. This shows how sometimes history is not neglected, but instead taught  thoroughly by people who aspire true cultivation by aspiring to be a "good Christian." 

When looking the painting itself, the composition is well balanced, with Jesus in the center of the painting and two guards falling on either side of the center line. Jesus' body splits the painting. On the left side everything is barren, especially when you look at the trees. On the contrary, the other side has full trees. For this painting we can think about more than one definition of cultivation. We already discussed cultivation as "the process of trying to acquire or develop a skill," but now we look at cultivation as "the action of cultivating land." Only the right side of this painting appears viable for planting crops. Not everything, even with the presence of Jesus, can be cultivated. Similarly, we can study and fill our finds with knowledge, but sometimes certain skills are hard to cultivate.

Overall, I like this painting because it is more complex than it appears at first glance. Like I mentioned above, the background is split my Jesus' body. Also, Jesus' is depicted as strong, not weak as the circumstances may have suggested. While he is standing tall, the guards are all on the ground asleep. I like the color of the guards outfits; the pop of color is refreshing in the desolate painting. Also, I agree with Bruni that history is an important subject to learn about, which is why I enjoy looking at paintings like this one, which teach me about subject matters I am not knowledgable on in a time period I have not studied in depth.    

Much like my art history education thus far, I came to conclusions far too quickly. Entering art history, I was going out of my comfort zone by taking the class and thought I would not enjoy it. However, I am glad that I took this risk and am excited to learn more about art. With Battista Sforza and Federico de Montefeltro, I judged their relationship instantly before really knowing their backstory.

Welcome back ladies and gents, I feel it's only fitting that my first blog post of the year hints at the dismal themes that I so adore. Today we’ll chat about Giotto’s Descent into Limbo, but to fully understand the unfortunate circumstances of our descending friends let’s return back to my first blog post last year. Rothko’s Black, Black on Wine where I conversed about the ill fate of humankind as a little line stuck between fantasy and reality. 

How does this relate to Giotto? Well, limbo of course. The space between heaven and hell... fantasy and reality. Though separated by thousands of years Giotto and Rothko capture the human condition simultaneously. In his painting, Giotto references the Black Plague which ravaged the world during the 14th century, leaving some more devoted to God and others to more likely to participate in folly. Both ended in the death. 

Returning to the painting, look for a moment at the people in the opening of the tomb. Examine their faces, feel their fear and the looming uncertainty of what happens when Christ shuts the stone vault. Today, we often take emotion for guaranteed, shedding tears over a celebrity breakup or an opened-but not responded to Snapchat.While in the early 1300s when Giotto mostly likely painted Descent Into Limbo, emotion carried a slightly different weight. 

Giotto introduced many to emotional depth and human vulnerability through his creation of a stage around his figures. He grounds and surrounds his people with shading and mountainous structures. Unlike others of his time who primarily focused on the divine, Giotto plays with other masses, indicating that humans (or the divine) are not the only thing of importance. In fact the almost blurring effect of the those entering the cave hints at our own insignificance. 

Despite it’s age, Descent into Limbo withstands the test of time through Giotto’s usage of complex emotions and nods to naturalism. There’s a beautiful uncomfortableness that I feel when I look at the people of the painting. I wonder about their “sins” and perhaps if they payed their simony, that would one day fund the great cathedrals that their terrified faces would become immortalized in.